


Blood Relation

by childoflightning



Series: just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you) [24]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has PTSD, Autistic Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders Are Siblings, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders is a Mess, Deceit Sanders Has PTSD, Fluff, Gen, Genderqueer Roman Sanders, Good Sibling Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Good Sibling Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, No Incest, Other, Remus is Christian, Remus is Schizophrenic, Roman is Muslim, Roman is trying his best, Sibling Bonding, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, past parent death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-05
Updated: 2019-12-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:55:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21675607
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/childoflightning/pseuds/childoflightning
Summary: On March 14, 2000 a baby named Roman was born in a small hospital in America. Four minutes later, his mother dies, leaving her son alone with his now adoptive father.This is not that story.On August 14, 1995 a baby named Remus was born in a small hospital in Yemen. Four years later, his mother leaves, taking her son with her to the United States.This is also not that story.No, this story is about a man named Remus Turner starting a new job at a theater company, where Roman Hussain-Barlo happens to be the director.Three decades later.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil/Creativity | Roman/Logic | Logan/Morality | Patton, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders & Deceit Sanders
Series: just keep stumbling forward (baby im waiting for you) [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1322924
Comments: 48
Kudos: 285





	Blood Relation

**Author's Note:**

> **TW: Schizophrenia, RSD, Memory Issues, PTSD, Xenophobia (past), Separation of Child from Parent, Parent Death (past, mentioned)**  
>  In Depth TW in End Notes

Roman had come to the conclusion that his theater company was some kind of cryptid conspiracy theory. Ever since the whole thing with Deceit and Virgil happened, he thought that it wasn’t too bold to assume that his company was in fact a conspiracy theory in the making. That had to be it, because there was literally no other way any of this could make sense. Sure, a person looking slightly to him would be one thing, but someone that could practically be his twin? Well that was another thing completely.

This had to be the reason the new guy looked so similar to him, right? Because the other ideas, the other options presented, well those were so much more terrifying than a cryptid theater company.

The first thing someone had said when the new guy had joined, was, “Wow, I didn’t know Roman had a brother.”

Here was the thing- Roman _did_ have a brother. His brother’s name was Kenny, but Kenny had never been to Roman’s work, lived in Oregon, and- most importantly in this situation- was adopted, and therefore did not look like Roman.

The new guy had stumbled, laughed, and said, “What?” before catching Roman’s eye.

They both froze.

The similarities were undeniable. It was pretty much looking at a carbon copy.

Except that there _were_ differences. Remus’s hair was a bit lighter than Roman’s, and Roman’s skin was more golden bronze than Remus’ amber. Roman was also a few inches taller and Remus’ eyes were a greenish brown opposed to Roman’s russet. But it was close. It was way too close.

Roman played it casual.

“Never thought I’d actually get to meet my doppelganger,” he said, ignoring the obvious elephant in the room.

The stares around him were incredulous, screaming at him to take note of the very apparent issue in the room. Roman refused and introduced himself.

“I’m Roman Hussain-Barlo,” he introduced, “The director of the company.”

“Remus Turner,” he replied, taking Roman’s offered hand and shaking it, “Choreography.”

Even their names were similar.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’ll let you get settled,” Roman said. He then disappeared as quickly as possible. It was too much. There was no way he was dealing with this right now.

So he didn’t. Deal with it that is.

Which resulted in Deceit cornering him a week later on a day when the two of them had both stayed late.

“Roman,” Deceit had said after they were done.

Roman knew instantly what he was going to say, and continued to pack up his things to leave.

“Roman,” Deceit repeated, and then again, “ _Roman_.”

Roman sighed, stopped what he was doing, and turned to his friend.

“What Dee?”

Dee just gave him a pointed look and sat down. With a sigh, Roman joined him and tried not to think about how this conversation was going to go.

“Y’know, when someone new joins, you usually help show them the ropes,” Dee stated.

Roman scoffed, “He’s working in choreography, he has his lead to help him, not my job.”

“I didn’t say it was your job,” Deceit pointed out, “Just that you usually do it anyway.”

Which was true and Roman didn’t have an excuse for why he didn’t. Or, he did have an excuse but ‘avoiding Remus because he looks remarkably similar to me and there’s a very good chance that is for a reason and that reason is that we are related to one another’ wasn’t an excuse he wanted to think about.

“Roman,” Deceit spoke up again, this time a touch softer, “You can’t just ignore this.”

“You ignored the whole thing with Virgil,” Roman was quick to bite back. Which was maybe a bit harsh. But he didn’t want to think about it.

“Fair,” Deceit agreed, “But when I reflect on that, I’ve come to the conclusion that how I went about that was a poor decision on my part. Which you know. Plus, I wasn’t around Virgil, I wasn’t consciously avoiding him, just choosing to not interact. Remus is working with us. You are actively avoiding him, and sooner or later that just isn’t going to be realistic.”

“I can do my best to make sure it’s later though,” he mumbled.

Confusion crossed Deceit’s face.

“Can you say that again?” he asked.

Roman sighed.

“Sorry. Nevermind,” Dee said immediately.

Roman shook his head.

“It’s not you,” he promised. “You don’t have to apologize for asking me to repeat myself. Ever.”

Deceit gave a little nod to show that he understood, and then waited.

“I said, ‘I can do my best to make sure it’s later rather than sooner,’” he repeated, making sure to avoid mumbling this time.

Deceit just gave him a look.

Roman cringed, knowing exactly how bad that sounded.

“Okay,” he relented, “Okay. I’ll talk to Remus.”

“Good,” Deceit responded.

“You’re a dick, you know that?” Roman told him with a grumble.

“Again?” Deceit asked.

“You’re a dick,” he repeated.

Deceit gave him a grin, and then was gone. Fucking annoying know-it-all. Even if he was right.

Roman sighed, and resigned himself to figuring out how he was going to figure this out. And that was a bigger question, what was there to figure out? Because honestly, Roman’s mind was reeling.

He tried to take a step back and started with the things he knew. Remus Turner had recently joined the theater company. He looked remarkably similar to Roman, much more similar than just common coincidence. Remus looked even more like Roman’s mom. The nose bridge, eye color, hair type, and even his smile. (Had Roman been studying the other man? Maybe…)

Next was the things he didn’t know. Roman didn’t know exactly why Remus looked like him. He didn’t know why Remus didn’t know about him. He didn’t know why he didn’t know Remus. He didn’t know where the fuck Remus had come from, out of the blue like this, who the fuck he was.

The final thing Roman considered were the most likely conclusions, because the startling similarity between Remus and him gave him no choice.

He and Remus were probably related. There was looking similar, and then there was clear relation. This was definitely the latter. Remus was definitely related to Roman’s mom, most likely being her son. Roman’s mom had died when he was born, meaning that Remus had to be older. It also made Remus- at the very least- his half-brother. And unless Remus had also immigrated from Yemen- which wasn’t exactly an easy thing to do- there was less than a three month window between his mom and his dad meeting, and Remus had to have gone somewhere during that time.

Because, well, his dad couldn’t have known about this, could he?

Ultimately, from Roman’s attempt at organizing his thoughts he learned exactly one thing: He was even more confused than when he started.

Remus was an enigma that Roman didn’t know what to do about.

* * *

Roman was an enigma that Remus didn’t know what to do about. Remus wasn’t exactly sure why the new director was completely ignoring him, and he certainly didn’t know what to do about it.

Sure, there was something very obviously off and wrong about the whole situation, the dude and him looked the exact same, but Remus didn’t understand why that was getting him the silent treatment. Sure, it was weird, but personally, Remus was desperate to get to the bottom of this, whatever this was.

Wouldn’t it better to know than continue guessing?

When Remus had first saw Roman, he thought he was hallucinating. Except, he had never had hallucinations of himself before. Plus, everyone else in the room could see and hear Roman too, and Remus was positive they weren’t all a hallucination.

Which meant that this guy who looked almost exactly alike him was _real_.

Remus’s first instinct was to sit down and talk with him. Because they _had_ to be related. There was literally no other solution that made sense. Roman was the right age, it was more than feasible.

It also meant that unless his biological father had somehow been resurrected from the dead, than Roman was definitely his mother’s son at a minimum. Roman would have to be the son of the mother Remus hadn’t seen since he was a child. Which made him and Roman brothers.

And if Roman was related to his mom, _their_ mom (probably), then that meant that Remus might get to talk to her after all this time. He and his parents had searched for her for years.

Remus _had_ to believe she wanted to talk to him, had to believe she had been searching for him just as desperately. She had come to America with him to give him a better opportunity at life. Neither of them knew that would result in them being stripped away from one another.

Remus had given up his search years ago. He wouldn’t of blamed his mom for doing the same.

Which was why he wanted to talk to Roman. He wanted answers. This wasn’t just something that could be ignored.

But Roman was doing exactly that and avoiding Remus like the plague, leaving him no opportunities during which to interact. So Remus did what he usually did when he didn’t know what to do about something. He called his parents.

His dad would still be at work, but it was his mother’s day off.

He pressed the call button and waited for the skype video to load. Suddenly the corner of Remus’s screen began to bubble, warping and bursting like blisters. He jerked back in reflex, the sight being both unpleasant and disturbing as well as unexpected.

Almost immediately, he took a breath, and tried to register the facts. It wasn’t making noise. A lot of his visual and auditory hallucinations tended to do one or the other, and not both at the same time. The lack of noise was a good indicator that it wasn’t real. So was the fact that the bubbling and melting was a common thing he tended to hallucinate, though it tended to happen to walls and the like. His computer also seemed to be working fine and wasn’t overheating, nor was the bubbling spreading. In addition, it took on a liquid like appearance compared to the computer’s solid state. It looked real, but all the evidence was pointing to the fact that it was indeed a hallucination. He set to ignoring it, and glanced back at the still ringing Skype call.

Not soon enough, his mother’s face filled the screen.

“Hi Goose,” she said immediately, her face breaking out into a wide grin. Remus smiled right back, and steadily ignored the continued bubbling on the corner of his screen.

“Hi Mom,” he replied relief flooding through him.

“We haven’t talked for a while,” she mentioned, “how’s your new job going?”

“Uh, it's been okay. Bit weird,” he answered, not bothering to even fake normalcy. His mom would see right through it anyways.

She frowned, crow’s feet forming at the corners of her eyes.

“Goose, what’s wrong? Are you okay?”

“Yeah Mom, I’m okay,” he promised, “I just, I love you, okay?”

The bubbling on the corner of the screen continued to get worse and started to crackle and pop with a hiss, looking more and more real. But it the bubbling and warping of the screen seemed liquid like, which was not possible. Remus reached a hand out to his screen, sliding fingers over the perfectly fine computer screen in an attempt to help convince his brain that it was not there, that it wasn’t real.

“I love you too, Goose,” she said, “But what’s wrong?”

“I-” Remus hesitated, at a loss for how exactly to put what was going on, “I think I might have a brother,” he admitted, “Like, a _biological_ brother.”

His mom frowned, but in that way of hers that showed curiosity instead of shame or disappointment.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

“I mean the director with the theater company looks exactly like me. Or- not exactly but yeah it’s pretty darn close. At first I thought I was just hallucinating but everyone else could see him too and he’s the right age and gosh Mom he looks so much like how I remember my mom looking its- he has her eyes and her face and her _smile_ and-” he shook his head, too choked up to continue.

“Oh, honey,” his mom whispered.

Remus hadn’t started to cry yet, he hadn’t ever really been a cryer, but he felt like he needed to cry. The tears seemed to be pressed up against his eyes and his body trembled. He tried to take a deep breath only to have it hitch and then weigh him down.

“I just- I- We- looked for her for so long. And I accepted I wasn’t going to see her again. And now, I mean, I don’t know about her yet, maybe Roman doesn’t even know her, maybe he got taken away like me, or maybe this is just some crazy coincidence.” It was then Remus had a realization. “Or maybe it’s not a coincidence. Maybe, maybe this is on purpose,” his heart thudded at thought, “Maybe someone _is_ behind this, trying to mess with me or something. This could all be orchestrated and-”

“Remus, Remus,” his mother's voice soothed before he could continue, “Honey. Let’s take a breath.”

Remus did so, taking a deep gulp of air as he reflected on his racing thoughts.

“Oh,” he said, “Oh, that’s that’s probably not what’s happening. There’s- there’s no one behind this. That’s not what happens.”

He knew it wasn’t logical, but he had just been so emotional that he had let his delusions get the best of him, sweeping him along with them.

“Probably not,” his mom agreed. Roman nodded firmly.

“But- Roman- he’s probably related to me,” Remus continued, “And- I just never thought I’d-”

“You’d find your family,” his mom finished for him.

“No,” he bit back immediately, “No, _you’re_ my family. You and Dad and Maggie and Lauren and Avery and Ainsley and everyone else along the way. _That’s_ my family.”

“Blood family then,” his mom mused, “More family. However you want to put it. They’re your family too. And I know that’s important to you Goose.”

“It is,” he agreed. It had always been. His parents had fostered him with the knowledge that he didn’t want them to be his family. That his mom would always be his family first.

That belief had changed over time, coming to reach a balance, but it had all been on Remus’s terms with his parents love, understanding, and support. It had always been his choice.

“So, what are you going to do about this? You know I’m here to support you through whatever you decide.”

This was when Remus’ mind decided to go blank. Because what was he going to do? He was at a complete loss of what he should do.

* * *

Roman was at a complete and utter loss of what to do.

There was just so much information to process. The idea of potentially having a blood relative was completely foreign to Roman, and- quite frankly- he wasn’t sure he _wanted_ one. Sure, there was a part of him that always reflected on his mom with a sort of nostalgic softness, but he didn’t think he actually missed her. After all, he had never known her. He had only ever known his dad- the man who adopted him, and later his other father and the twins. They’d always been his family.

Now someone who most likely shared his blood came stumbling into his life and Roman didn’t know what to do.

Which was why Roman was sitting at the kitchen table as the clock crept steadily towards midnight. The rest of his husbands had retired for the night and Roman had tried to as well but the thoughts swirling in his head had refused to settle. So he moved to the kitchen, where he fully expected to be alone.

It was at exactly midnight when Patton come stumbling into the kitchen with bleary eyes. He was clad in only his boxers, a single sock, and his glasses. Patton’s hair was also still pineappled to keep it protected, further proving that he had just woken up.

“Hmm, there you are,” Patton said when he caught sight of Roman at the table. Roman gave a small nod of acknowledgement as Patton took the seat across from him.

“What’re you doing up so late?” Patton asked around a yawn. He reached out to grasp one of Roman’s hands. Roman let him, before lifting Patton’s hand to his mouth to give it a gentle kiss. Patton gave him an adorable little grin as Roman set their hands down.

The short kiss also gave time for Roman to gather his answer to Patton’s question, because the real reason he was up so late was a bit of a minefield right now. Roman decided to go a bit to the side instead.

“Pat, did you ever know your biological parents?”

Roman knew that like him, Patton was also adopted, but he also realized he didn’t actually know anything about that process, even after ten years of being together.

Patton shook his head as he rubbed his thumb across the back of Roman’s hand.

“No,” he explained, “I was a Safe Haven baby. My mom gave me up when I was a little more than two days old. No clue about my father.”

Roman nodded. He was familiar with the Safe Haven law that allowed mother’s to safely release custody of a child who was below a week old. He knew California had a similar law, other states were likely to as well.

“Do you- what if you ran into your mom now?” Roman asked, “What would you do?”

Patton gave him a look, and seemed to search in Roman’s eyes for something. Roman had to guess Patton found whatever he was looking for, because he moved on to answer.

“I don’t know,” Patton admitted, “I’m not sure either of us would recognize each other. I mean I was two days old and who knows if I even really look like her? Plus she’d be expecting a girl. I don’t think it’s very likely we’d recognize each other in the first place.”

“Okay, but what if you looked too similar that it was impossible to ignore. Like you looked so similar that even though it had to be crazy, there was no other explanation besides the fact that the two of you were related.” Patton just raised an eyebrow.

“And in what world would that ever happen?” Patton asked, a soft teasing lilt to his words.

“Mine,” Roman answered, before he could stop himself, “I think I might have a brother. Like a biological, we share the same genes, brother.”

“What?”

Roman scrubbed at his face with his free hand. Patton gave the other a small reassuring squeeze.

“There’s a new guy at work. His name is Remus. See? Even our _names_ go together. He’s- we look so much alike Patton, this literally cannot be coincidence. It’s- We _have_ to be related Pat, nothing else makes sense.”

For some reason, that happened to be Roman’s tipping point and he burst into tears. Which was rare for him. Roman was plenty emotional, but he had never been one to cry easily.

Patton face blanked for a second, and then he frowned. The hand that wasn’t holding Roman’s came up to cup his face and brush a few tears from his cheek.

“Ro, honey, why are you crying?” Patton asked.

“I- I don’t know,” he admitted, “I guess- It’s just a lot and I’m not sure how to deal with this or what I want to do and-” he shrugged miserably.

“Oh honey,” Patton said, “Okay no, I promise we’ll get to that. No, I meant,” Patton took a breath, looking a bit lost, “I forgot why we’re here, what we’re talking about. I don’t remember sitting down.”

Roman nodded and took a deep breath and blinked back tears, trying to gather himself together so he could catch Patton up to speed, filling in his gap of memory.

“Roman, it’s- I’m worried, love,” Patton admitted when Roman didn’t immediately respond.

Roman looked up and could see the fear plain in his husbands eyes. The losing time was something Patton was used to, but coming back to awareness in the middle of his spouse breaking down was certainly not a common situation.

“Okay,” he said, “Give me a second, okay? You don’t need to be worried, everything’s okay. Just a little emotional.”

“‘Course honey,” Patton said in that soothing voice that just about made Roman melt.

Roman blinked back his final tears and took another shaky breathe before he began a recap for Patton, explaining what had happened and what they were discussing. Even though he was still just as emotional, he didn’t start crying again.

“Okay,” Patton said once Roman had caught him up, “Okay. Redo. Why were you crying? What’s making you so upset about this?”

“I don’t know,” Roman said, “I think, well it’s a lot to process and I don’t even know where to start. And Patton, this guy has to be related to me but maybe he’s not and it’s just some weird coincidence or something or maybe Allah is testing me but I don’t know how-”

“Roman, dear, let’s take a breather,” Patton suggested.

Roman nodded and took a deep breath.

“Okay, let’s start with what you want, okay? We can go from there.”

Roman nodded.

“So what do you want?”

“I just want to figure this all out,” Roman explained, “I don’t know what I actually want to do about any of this yet, but I want to figure out what’s true and what's not. I just want to know what’s actually going on here.”

“Okay. And you’re pretty sure the two of you are related?”

“Yes,” Roman confirmed, “Yes Pat, you should of seen him. He looked just like my mom. He looked just like me. I just don’t get how. Like, I- it’s not easy to immigrate from Yemen to here, so I’m assuming that he came with my mom. But that means there’s a very small window before my dad showed up and then me being born. I don’t-” Roman shook his head, “I don’t know how it all fits together.”

“Okay. So why don’t we figure out a timeline?”

Roman nodded and pulled out his phone to get the information physically down.

“Uh so my mom came to America in mid 1999. My dad met her in October of 1999. I was born in March of 2000 and my mom died the same day.”

“So what are the missing dates.”

“Remus’ birth. When he came to the US. When he disappeared. Uh, how he disappeared even though that’s not actually something for a timeline but something I really wanna know,” Roman listed off, “Which again- assuming that he came here with my mom- means that there was only a four month window between my mom arriving here and her meeting my dad. Remus had to have disappeared during that time.”

“Have your thought about calling your Dad?” Patton asked.

“What?”

“Well I mean, he probably knew your mom best, right? If anyone would have more information it would be him, right?”

Roman hadn’t thought about it, but it did make sense. His dad and mom had lived together for that short period of time. They were best friends. If anyone was to know anything about all of this it had to be him.

The problem was that posed a new question. How much did his dad know? Which lead into the question of if his dad had known about Remus. Which lead into the question of if he had known, had he kept that information from Roman?

There was no way.

Was there?

“Pat- Do you think my dad knows something about this? Knows something about Remus?”

Patton gave him a gentle look and continued to rub his hand soothingly.

“What do you think Roman? You’re the one who knows him best.”

“No. _No_ there’s no way he’d keep that from me,” Roman defended, pulling his hand away from Patton. Even so, a seed of doubt started to grow inside him. He prayed that his faith was well placed.

* * *

Remus was praying, which wasn’t an uncommon occurrence by any means. In this particular case he was praying for strength and wisdom to do the right things, also not an uncommon thing. In fact, the only uncommon thing about any of this was the reason _why_ he was praying. A long lost brother might be some sort of common trope but it definitely did not happen in real life. Remus just worked on remembering Romans 8:28 (and wasn’t _that_ ironic). God worked all things for good. Remus would just have to trust Him. This was His plan.

At the same time, Remus wasn’t blind to the fact that he still lived his own life and while God guided it, Remus was the one who traveled it. God wouldn’t solve his problems or come up with solutions for him. Remus had to do that on his own.

These after prayer musings were only interrupted by knocking from his door. He registered it with a confused frown. It was getting late and there didn’t seem to be any real reason for someone to be knocking on his door. He got up to check and, recognizing the person, opened the door with a swing.

“Hi to you too Mags,” he greeted.

“Don’t call me that,” she grumbled, pushing inside.

He shook his head fondly and followed her into his apartment. She quickly flopped onto the couch, Remus just trailing afterwards.

“Uh, Mags, not that I don’t love seeing you. But why are you here?” he asked, taking a seat on the other couch.

“Well, you were supposed to come over yesterday and then we were going to go out and celebrate you finally moving out here but _someone_ didn’t show up.”

Oh right. Yeah, meeting up with his eldest sister had been on his calendar for weeks now, but with how crazy his life was right now, he had completely forgotten. He winced.

“Sorry,” he apologized, “Things have been… kinda crazy this week.”

“Yeah Mom told me,” she said.

Mom had told her? Remus hadn’t thought that his mom would tell her about the personal things they talked about.

The thought was a simple observation but it quickly led into something much more intrusive.

Were his mom and his sister talking behind his back? Did they do that often? What were they saying about him? What else did they talk about? Was his whole family talking about him? Did they all talk together without him, having private conversations he wasn’t allowed to be a part of?

Did they- Did they do it often? Did they think of him differently, as an outlier? Had they been doing this for years and Remus was only now realizing it? Was his entire family lying to him?

“Or- she didn’t tell me anything, but she mentioned that it was nice we were going out last night because you had a weird week. But we didn’t go out last night because you didn’t show up. And you didn’t respond to my texts either, so…” she trailed off and then gestured to the apartment as well as herself. “Here I am.”

Remus swallowed and try to push down the paranoia.

“So you don’t- you don’t like… talk about me?” Remus asked, unsure how to properly phrase his real question of ‘are you two conspiring against me behind my back.’

“Well I mean-” Maggie started, before coming to an abrupt halt and taken in Remus’s well hidden fear, “No. _No_. Re- Not like that. Mom and me chat, and sometimes you or other family members or just other people come up. That’s it. We’re not all talking behind your back or scheming or conspiring against you or anything like that. No one is.”

Remus took a breath and nodded, releasing the tension in his body. There was still the voice in the back of his head chanting ‘what if what if what if’ and ‘she's lying’ and ‘but they could be’ but Remus trusted Maggie. That was enough for him.

“Okay, thanks, sorry this week’s just been stressful and its-” he swallowed, “the paranoia just gets a lot worse when I’m stressed. So…”

“You don’t need to apologize dork. I’m here to fact check whenever you need me to.”

A sudden bursting bloom of love spread through Remus’s body.

“Thanks. Uh, how are the kids?”

The paranoia didn’t fade completely, never really did, but it was calmed and soothed and pushed down with the reassurance.

“Yeah, course. And they’re good. I think. They’re teenagers, it’s hard to tell. Sad they didn’t get to see their uncle the other day. But don’t try to change the subject. So, spill, what’s up? Why didn’t you show? What’s so weird about work?”

“I think I found my maternal family.”

“Holy shit what?” she said, sitting up to give him more clear attention.

Remus swallowed, and stumbled through an explanation he’d already given once.

“The director at work, yeah so he’s almost certainly my brother. And most definitely through my mom, maybe my dad too, I dunno yet. But yeah. We just sorta ran into each other. So I’ve been, I’ve been dealing with that this week.”

“What the heck.”

“Yeah, I know,” Remus said with a sigh.

“Okay, okay wait, so what he’d have to say? Like what? What the heck, how is this your life.”

I know,” Remus groaned, drawing out the ‘w.’ “And well, we haven’t actually talked yet.”

“Well, why the heck not?”

“I-” he hesitated, and thought about it. Why _hadn’t_ they talked? Sure Roman was avoiding Remus, but Remus was capable of initiating conversation as well.

He realized what he needed to do. He needed to talk to Roman.

* * *

Roman needed to talk to Remus, that was really what it came down to.

After having an extensive talk with his father and confirming that he also had no idea that Remus even existed- which had been a relief considering that would have been a huge breach of trust- Roman realized he needed to get the facts down. He needed to finish constructing his timeline.

The only way to do that at this point was to actually talk to Remus.

“I’m just- I’m scared to talk to him,” Roman admitted.

Deceit raised an eyebrow and stared at Roman, utterly unimpressed.

“You’re scared?” he challenged.

“Yes,” Roman defended, “It’s, yeah, yeah I am.”

Deceit rolled his eyes and let out a little exasperated huff. Roman frowned and began to worry his lip. Deceit’s gaze softened.

“Okay,” Dee said, “Okay. Why are you scared?”

“I’m-” Roman paused, leaving his mouth hanging open for a second for snapping it shut. Why was he scared?

“I didn’t- Did you say something?” Deceit said.

Roman shook his head.

“I trailed off, didn’t say anything else,” he explained, “I don’t- I’m not sure why I’m scared.”

“Okay, then what _do_ you know?” Deceit asked.

Roman blinked and leaned back in his chair as he thought about the statement.

He knew he wanted to talk to Remus. For Roman’s own sanity, he needed to get the facts straightened out. What he wasn’t sure of was were to go from there. Going along the most likely route of Remus being Roman’s brother… Well that changed so much. It was adding a whole new family member which could change everything and Roman wasn’t sure he was ready for that. It was a scary thought.

“I think I’m scared of how this is going to change my family’s dynamic,” Roman admitted, “I- I already have a family. I have two wonderful dads and two wonderful siblings. I have three amazing husbands and I have great friends like you. Adding Remus into that… I’m not sure I even want to do that.”

“You added me,” Deceit pointed out. Roman was a little bit surprised about how quick Deceit was willing to admit his attachment to Roman. He was usually much less vulnerable. “I mean, I guess you're alright or whatever but you haven’t really known me for that long so…” Dee then trailed on, adding in the qualifier. Plus, seriously, he was going with ‘you haven’t known me that long’ of all things? It had to be what, five years of being friends at this point?

“But really Roman- I mean you’ve added people to your family before. Why is it such a big deal when it comes to Remus?”

Simply put, Remus was different, and Roman didn’t know how to put that into words. Remus brought the past with him. Remus brought questions and mysteries and gaps in timelines Roman hadn’t even known existed. Remus brought thoughts of his mother and doubts of his father. Because Remus…

“He’s blood,” Roman admitted, “And that’s never mattered to me. I- I don’t think it even matters now,” Roman rambled, “But it feels like it should be important, like something that should matter to me. But it doesn’t? Not really? But maybe, maybe blood _does_ matter more than I think and I’m just- I dunno- brushing that connection off? When it really it is important and-”

Deceit was looking at him with more and more confusion as Roman tried to speed through as many words as he could.

“Slow down?” Roman guessed.

“Yeah,” Deceit nodded, “Slow down a lot.”

Roman nodded, and tried to organize his thoughts. Roman had a tendency to ramble and half the time his mouth would get ahead of his brain that even he didn’t know what he was saying anymore. Taking a moment to pause and breathed helped Roman think about what he was saying and connect his wildly disorganized thoughts.

“Remus is blood. And blood has never mattered to me in terms of family. But I feel like there’s a lot of pressure and expectation for it to matter. But even after meeting Remus, I’m not sure how much it really matters to me.”

“Why does it have to matter? Fuck blood,” Deceit scoffed, “Maybe you figure out the facts. But that doesn’t mean you’re obligated to have a relationship, whatever other people say. Just do what you want. I mean you probably want to get on the same page as Remus but yeah- do whatever. Fuck things up.”

Roman nodded, then hesitated before voicing his final fear.

“What if he wants a relationship and I don’t?”

Deceit fired back with his own question.

“Do you not want a relationship?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“Then don’t worry about it yet. Work on figuring out the facts, and then where you stand. After that you can figure out what relationship the two of you are going to have. Cross that bridge when you come to it.”

“I- okay.”

Roman continued to sit there, unmoving, drawing lines of nothing on the table with his fingers.

“Y’know, I did mean right now, you should definitely start to figure out the facts now. Get started on that,” Deceit huffed.

Roman sighed and stood, making to leave the room and go find Remus. Before he could exit, he turned back around to face Deceit.

“Hey, thanks,” Roman mentioned, “I- you’re pretty good at this.”

Deceit scowled, “You could have figured it out yourself. You were just being slow and it was annoying, so I helped speed up the process. For my own benefit.”

Roman rolled his eyes at the blatant lie and walked back over to Deceit.

“Thank you,” Roman said earnestly, “This whole thing would’ve been a lot harder without you.”

“We have work,” Deceit announced. He stood, and quickly made for the door, not responding to what Roman had said in the slightest. But before he could completely disappear he did throw a quick, “Good luck,” back at Roman.

Roman smiled at his back and went to talk to Remus.

* * *

Remus was going to talk to Roman.

It seemed like the logical thing to do at this point. He had briefly considered stealing some of Roman’s hair to do a DNA test just to confirm things first, but had quickly brushed that off for two reasons.

The first reason being that it was invasive. The second reason was because the easiest way to go about doing a DNA test was apparently with spit and Remus wasn’t exactly sure how he was supposed to acquire that without Roman knowing, so that plan had fallen through. But it had mostly fallen through due to the fact that it was invasive. Totally. _That_ was the reason he scrapped the idea.

In addition, the DNA test had downfalls. Sure, it would prove that they were indeed related, but they pretty much already knew that. It would be nice to be certain, but there was only so much that a DNA test didn’t provide. Most notably, a DNA test couldn’t provide Remus with the entire history of what happened after he was taken away from his mother. He needed to actually talk to Roman.

Remus needed to talk to Roman _today_.

It had already been too long. It was awkward and stressful and Remus hated it. He had to assume that Roman hated the tension too. Plus, Remus really didn’t need more stress. A new job was plenty enough. Add in the fact that his positive and negative symptoms always got worse when he was stressed, and it wasn’t a fun experience.

The positive symptoms became harder to separate from reality. The hallucinations became more and more life-like and increasingly harder to ignore while the paranoia and delusions grew and grew until it was almost impossible for him to decipher what was fact and fiction. The negative symptoms were brought back with full force. The apathy, the struggle to perform basic functions, the lack of strong emotions, all of it tumbling together, dragging him down.

It hadn’t gotten that bad in a long time, and he still had a far ways to go before reaching those points. But even though it hadn't gotten that bad, it didn’t mean Remus had to like where it currently was at either.

With these thoughts, Remus set out in his search for Roman. He had been backstage earlier with Deceit so maybe-

“Remus,” a voice called out. Recognizing the voice, Remus turned around.

Roman was walking fast to catch up to Remus- and when he did catch up, he stopped just a short distance away.

“Hey,” Roman said, “I uh- I was hoping we could talk?”

A loud buzzing noise filled Remus’ ears as he struggled to compute Roman’s words. Remus had wanted to talk to Roman, but he kinda had gotten that Roman didn’t want to talk to him.

Was Roman trying to trick him? Roman was the one playing the avoidance game, why was he changing his behavior now? Had something happened? Did Roman know something Remus didn’t? What did Roman _have_ on him, did he _know_ something? What did he know? What did he know? What did he _know_?

He took a breath and refocused, gathering the paranoia back in before it could run any further away. This was a chance to talk to Roman, that was it. Plus, it was exactly what Remus wanted, he needed to stop blowing this out of proportion.

“Yes,” Remus responded, “Yes we can absolutely talk,” he agreed.

“Great.”

People continued to move around them, leaving for the day.

“Uh, do you have time right now?” Roman said, “We could move to the break room.”

“Yeah I have time,” Remus was quick to respond, “Let’s do that.”

Roman nodded, and led the way to a break room. He kept quiet during the short walk, and Remus did as well.

When they reached the door, Roman grabbed the melting handle and pushed it open. Remus followed right behind him, and the minute he entered the room, he was hit with a strong smell of smoke. He looked quickly to the microwave in the room, which seemed fine. Roman seemed unbothered by it as well, so Remus firmly pushed the smell away, trying to convince his mind it wasn’t real.

Roman took a seat at one of the tables and Roman joined him.

“Okay,” Roman said, sliding a hand over his face, “Okay. How do we-”

“We’re siblings,” Remus said, jumping right into it, “Well, probably.”

Roman’s hand dropped to the table.

“Yeah, yeah that seems likely. Uh- but for proof- what was our mother’s full name? I can show you a picture in return.”

Great. So they were getting into it then.

“I don’t actually know,” Remus had to admit, “I was four. I don’t- I don’t remember. I thought we could do a DNA test? I mean I want proof too.”

“Oh we’re definitely taking a DNA test,” Roman agreed. He then hesitated, and his face softened, “You said- you said you were four? You were four when what?”

“I was four when I was taken away from our mother.”

“You were _what_?”

“I don’t remember much. All I really know is that it was filed as child neglect.”

“She would never-” Roman started, fire in his eyes.

“I know,” Remus agreed quickly, “I know. I do remember that. I remember her being caring and loving and kind and yeah- But I was taken away. I- I don’t know how much you know about adoption and foster care, but uh, when a child gets taken away from their bio-parents, the goal is for their bio-parents to get them back. Which honestly shouldn’t always be the case, but that’s- that’s another topic and that wasn’t my experience. But yeah- the goal should’ve been to return me to my- our- mom.”

“ _Should’ve_ been,” Roman stressed, because how Remus said it, implied that it wasn’t the goal.

“Yeah. Most-” Remus gulped, “Most of the time parents get support to get their kids back. But uh- well they saw a Muslim women who was a refugee from Yemen and decided they weren’t going to help. They decided that the child could have a much better life without her. I- I was uh, _not_ happy about that. I uh- I’ve been looking for her ever since. I mean I found a truly great family but yeah- never stopped searching for her. Didn’t think I’d actually find anything, didn’t have enough to go on. But well, now? I mean… So yeah that’s all-” Remus concluded with an awkward hand wave.

“Holy shit,” Roman said, “Holy shit. Are you fucking with me?”

“No.”

Roman went absolutely still. A second later and his chair was scooting back with a screech and he started to pace the room. Remus wasn’t sure if he was muttering, or if it was just the voices, but regardless it didn’t sound happy.

“I hate people,” Roman claimed, “I can’t- I can’t fucking believe that they literally just took you away and then turned a blind eye on- Holy shit, if they, if they had just done their jobs if they had had actually helped her, her chances could’ve been way better and maybe with more help, more assistance she…” Roman trailed off, so Remus didn’t quite get to know what his mother would’ve been.

“You don’t know,” Roman said, realization crossing across his face, “Shit- Remus you don’t know.”

Remus heart thudded. He didn’t know what Roman was talking about but it didn’t sound good. Roman stopped pacing and sat back down. He sighed heavily and stared across at Remus.

“I- Remus. I know-” Roman closed his eyes tightly for a second before looking back at the man across from him, “I’m really sorry Remus, I know you said you’ve been searching for her for a long time, but uh, our mom’s dead. She died giving birth to me. I’m really really sorry.”

Remus’ world froze. The smell of smoke started to burn is nose.

“I-” he started, but found he couldn’t say anything else. When he finally found his words all he could let out was a weak, “What?”

“She- uh- She was already sick. She was already dying. And she- she decided to have me anyway. I was four minutes old when she died. I’m- I’m so so sorry, I-”

Roman had to be lying. Roman and his mom were playing tricks and this all just had to some elaborate scheme. Maybe, maybe Roman didn’t even work here or maybe Remus wasn’t even supposed to get a job here this was just some elaborate set up to get Remus here and trick him and convince his mom was dead and that this was his brother and Roman wasn’t even his brother and this was just an entire scheme set up and devised and Remus was falling for it and-

But for what?

What could Roman gain out of lying? What was the point of tricking Remus?

Remus couldn’t find an answer that made sense. Which mean that Roman was telling the truth.

Which meant that his mom was dead.

“Oh,” Remus said numbly as his brain tried to compute the information, “Oh.” He let out a weak laugh. “Guess it makes sense why you didn’t know about me now.”

“Yeah,” Roman agreed, at a loss of what else to say, “Yeah.”

Remus didn’t know what to do. Sure, he had given up seriously searching for her years ago. But he had always thought that she was out there somewhere. It seemed naive now that he was reflecting on it, but he had never for even a moment thought that she was dead.

He would never meet her again, he realized. He never even had a chance to meet her again.

“Okay,” Remus said before repeating, “Okay.” (Maybe if he repeated the words enough times things really would be okay).

“She’s- I- Do you want to see a picture?” Roman asked.

“Yes,” Remus responded immediately.

Roman nodded and pulled something out of his pocket. He unfolded the small rectangle, revealing a picture of a heavily pregnant women who looked just like Remus. Who looked just like Roman.

It was also a relief to confirm what she looked like. There had been times where Remus had wondered if maybe he had been hallucinating the entire time and maybe she wasn’t how he remembered her at all. The thought itself was irrational because Remus hadn’t had hallucinations that young, nor had he ever had hallucinations of real people. But it had always been a buried fear of his, that his mind had been playing such a trick on him without him knowing it.

“You have the same smile as her,” Remus commented.

Roman chuckled lightly.

“I was thinking the same thing about you,” Roman admitted.

For a moment the two sat in comfortable silence.

“So,” Roman said, “Tell me about yourself. You said you had a good family?”

“Yeah,” Remus agreed, “I do. Uh, I’ll tell you about me and then you do the same?”

“Yes,” Roman said easily, “Yes. Absolutely.”

Remus smiled and began.

He told Roman about being placed in foster care. He told him how he kept running away trying to find his mother and consequently never stuck in one place for long. He told Roman about his fears of going crazy- though an extremely censored version, he wasn’t quite willing to explain the positive, negative, and cognitive symptoms that followed, leading to an eventual schizophrenia diagnosis.

He told Roman about his parents and them fostering him. He told him about how when Remus explained his situation with his mother to his new parents they were instantly horrified at what happened to him and completely on board with finding her. He explained how they had fostered him to give him a support system that actually cared about him, but never expected him to see them as parents.

He told Roman about how they became his parents anyways, but that didn’t mean his connection to his biological mother was any less. He told Roman about his sisters and their chaos. He talked about being Christian and church and finding peace within a complex religion that had a multitude of issues. He talked about coming out and being loved and supported and never having doubted that support for a minute.

Remus told Roman about his entire life, about everything he possibly could.

In turn, Roman did the same.

Roman told him about his dads and how Roman was technically responsible for their getting together even if he was too young to remember it. He told Remus about his own siblings and what growing up in California was like. He talked about moving to Utah, and then moving out the moment he had the chance. He talked about meeting his husbands and falling in love. Roman talked about working in the theater company and working his way up and about his friendship with Deceit who was apparently “a prick, but he grows on you.”

Roman wove stories of his life and didn’t spare a detail.

They only paused the stories when someone on the janitorial staff had stumbled into the room and they both realized how late it had gotten.

* * *

When Roman realized how late it had gotten he immediately pulled out his phone. The screen lit up with numerous texts from his husbands, wondering where he was. The more recent ones were from an increasingly panicked Virgil and the most recent were from Patton and Logan to ‘please call just to let us know that your okay, Virgil’s freaking out.’

“Sorry,” he said as he pressed the call button on his phone, “I need to call my husbands, I didn’t tell them I would be late.”

“Yeah, of course,” Remus agreed.

Roman nodded and stood as the first ring echoed in his ear. A moment later a familiar voice picked up.

“Ro?” Patton asked.

“Yeah, hey Pat I’m really sorry for not calling. My phone was on silent. I’m okay, I’m still at work.”

“Okay,” Patton answered a sigh of relief coming through the phone, “Lemme just-” Patton trailed off. Patton’s voice returned, but this time more distantly, “Virgil hun, Roman’s on the phone. He’s okay, he’s still at work.” A moment later and Patton’s voice was clearer again, “Roman, why are you still at work? It’s really late.”

“I- um I’m actually talking to Remus. Is Virgil okay?”

“He’s…” Patton trailed off and a heavy feeling settled in Roman’s throat. “He’ll be okay,” Patton said eventually. Which meant that no, Virgil was not currently okay.

“Pat?”

Patton sighed, “He panicked pretty bad,” he admitted, “He’s- your usually home _a lot_ earlier and sure, you’re late sometimes but never hours late without telling us.”

“I’m sorry,” Roman said immediately, the shame lying heavily on him. He should’ve called. Or texted. It was so stupid of him to forget something so simple.

“Hey, no, Ro honey it’s okay,” Patton insisted, “Yes, it would’ve been nice to know that’d you’d be this late. But it’s okay. You didn’t mean to, it slipped your mind. It’s fine. And it’s your life, you don’t have to tell us where you are every second of the day.”

“Yeah, but Virgil-”

“Virgil will be okay. You hit a trigger, but we all do sometimes and it wasn’t intentional. I’m _positive_ he isn’t mad at you.”

Virgil might not be mad at Roman, but Roman was sure as hell mad at himself.

“-And,” Patton carried on, “Roman, you shouldn’t be mad at yourself either. It slipped your mind, that happens. It wasn’t intentional and you can’t be perfect every second of the day, okay love?”

Patton knew him too well. Roman took a breath and worked on believing that. He wasn’t a bad person.

“Okay,” he agreed, and actually believed it. “How’re you and Lo?”

“Lo’s a bit unsettled cause you broke routine. I forgot most of the afternoon anyways so…”

Roman frowned, “Pat, that’s twice in a week.”

Patton’s memory was bad, but it wasn’t often that he lost large chunks like this in such a short period of time.

“I know,” he confirmed, “I’m keeping track. And Logan’s making sure I don’t forget to keep track. I’m not worried yet, but we’ll see if it persists. I-” Patton’s voice began to fade a bit, “Hey Virge. Yeah, course,” Patton’s voice became clearer again, “V wants to take to you.”

“Absolutely,” Roman confirmed.

There was a bit of random noises on the other side of the line and then a clear voice was speaking.

“Hey Ro.” Virgil’s voice was quiet and lacking any of its usual zest.

“Hi dear, sorry about not calling.”

“It’s okay,” Virgil replied immediately, “Don’t beat yourself up.”

“I should have-”

“No,” Virgil firmly insisted, “I can play that game too. I shouldn’t’ve panicked as easily. I shouldn’t’ve demanded to know when you’d be home. I should give you more space. We can all play the should’ve-would’ve-could’ve game Roman. And we’ll all lose. You forgot to tell us you would be home late. That happens. It’s okay.”

“Okay,” Roman agreed. He felt a lot better with the additional reassurance from Virgil. “And V- I- you do give me enough space. Demanding you know where I am every second of every day is a little extreme, but you don’t do that. I think it’s more than reasonable to want to know if I’m okay and where I am after being hours late with no warning.”

“I know.”

“And similarly- you shouldn’t get mad at yourself for panicking.”

“No, I know,” Virgil agreed, “I’m not. It is something I want to work on more though. I don’t want to panic this extremely this easily.”

“Okay.”

Roman shifted a bit more and glanced over at Remus. He was on his own phone, politely ignoring Roman.

“I- do you want to talk to Logan for a minute?” Virgil asked.

“Sure.”

More shuffling and then Logan’s voice was coming through.

“You’re usually home by now,” Logan said.

“Yeah,” Roman chuckled lightly, “Sorry about that.”

“Why are you so late?”

“I- uh- I well it’s probably something I should talk to all three of you together when I get home. Not really a phone conversation or a one-on-one conversation.”

“Okay. Will you be home soon?”

“Probably,” Roman replied.

“Okay. I’ll let you get back to whatever it is you are doing. Goodbye Roman.”

“Bye Lo, love you.”

“I love you as well.”

Logan hung up and Roman turned his phone off before shoving it back in his pocket.

“Sorry about that,” Roman said, rejoining Remus at the table, “I’m usually home by now and Virgil worries.”

“He seems to worry pretty obsessively,” Remus noted.

Roman bristled.

“Hey, no, I’m sorry,” Remus said, “I wasn’t trying to- He just seemed kind of demanding, but I only get half the call. I wasn’t-”

It was a bit presumptuous of a thought, but Roman could see the faint logic behind it. If Roman had only heard his side, he might have thought the same. Remus was overstepping, but Roman couldn’t be certain he wouldn’t do the same in a swapped situation. Remus just didn’t know their dynamic.

“My husbands aren’t demanding,” Roman clarified, voice firm with no room for debate, “They were just very worried when I didn’t come home on time and still happen to not be home hours later than I was supposed to be.”

“Right,” Remus said, “Sorry for assuming.”

Roman nodded in acceptance and the atmosphere softened.

“So,” Roman said, “I should be getting home. But-”

“Let’s talk more?” Remus finished hopefully.

“Yes,” Roman agreed, “I can- let me give you my number. I want to get to know you. I haven’t ever had an older brother before.”

Wait what? When had Roman started thinking of Remus as his brother? When had _that_ happened?

The revelation surprised Roman, but it didn’t exactly bother him.

Remus smiled, looking once more just like their mother, “Yeah that sounds good. I’ve never had a brother before either.”

Roman winced and realized he had forgotten to share one very important detail.

“I- I’m actually genderqueer. I use he/him pronouns but I don’t use gendered language. I actually usually start with that information but well,” Roman laughed, “This wasn’t exactly a normal introduction.”

“Of course,” Remus replied, “Sibling then. Well I already have four of those, I'm more than happy to add another one.”

“Okay.” Roman said.

“Okay,” Remus agreed.

They got up, ready to leave, Roman opening the door for Remus on the way out.

* * *

Remus opened the door, allowing him entrance into his apartment. With a sigh, he quickly collapsed on the couch in the main room. Moments later and his phone started to ring.

He groaned loudly, but his groan quickly turned into a wide grin once he saw the caller ID. He answered his phone immediately.

“Hi Dad.”

“My young grasshopper,” he greeted. Remus snorted.

“Dad, I’m pretty sure you can stop calling me your ‘young grasshopper’ now that I’m in my mid-30’s.”

“Nah,” his dad disagreed, “You’re always gonna be my young grasshopper.”

“Gee, thanks,” Remus bit sarcastically.

“How are things? We didn’t get to talk early this week, but your mom mentioned that there was something about a potentially brother in the mix?”

“Sibling,” Roman corrected.

“What?”

“Uh- his name’s Roman. And we are related. But we aren’t brothers because Roman doesn’t use gendered language. So we’re siblings.”

“Gendered language?”

“Mhhm. Roman uses he/him pronouns but he doesn’t use language that refers to him as male or female, like ‘man’ and ‘woman’ or ‘sister’ and ‘brother.’ He uses terms like ‘sibling’ and ‘person.’”

“Okay. Got it. But he _is_ your sibling?”

“Yeah,” Remus replied, “Unless he’s a real damn good liar. We want to do a DNA test to confirm but yeah, yeah he is.”

Remus turned his head as he waited for his father’s response and immediately saw a huge spider crawling up his wall. He jumped, more due to be startled than actual fear. The spider was about the size of his hand. Big enough to be registered as ‘oh shit that’s a huge spider’ but also not big enough to seem unbelievable. Which was the problem.

It probably wasn’t real, Remus decided. It looked real, and it acted real, but tarantulas weren’t native to the United States. It wouldn’t make sense for one to be in his house.

But, he was pretty sure one of his neighbors had a pet tarantula now that he thought about it. Maybe it had somehow escaped and gotten into his house. Sure, it was unlikely, but what if it was a pet? If Remus just ignored it when it really was someone’s lost pet he’d feel terrible.

But he couldn’t just go down to his neighbor’s door and asked if they lost a spider. First off, he wasn't sure which neighbor it belonged to. Second off, if the spider wasn’t real and he then asked if it was missing he’d have to explain and he didn’t know how to do that without awkwardly laughing and leaving, or admitting he had hallucinations. Neither were things he wanted to do.

“Remus? You there?”

“Uh, yeah,” he said, eyes still on the spider, “One second, I’m just going to take a photo.”

“Okay.”

Remus pulled his phone away from his ear and snapped the photo. When he looked at it, he thought he saw the spider in the frame, but he wasn’t positive. He couldn’t tell if he was hallucinating the spider, or if it was really there and he was doubting it was there, making it seem like it was a hallucination.

“Dad?” Remus said as he placed the phone back to his ear.

“Yes?”

“Can I send you a picture and you tell me if there’s a spider in it?”

“Sure,” he replied.

Remus nodded and pulled the phone away again before sending the picture to his dad. He lifted his phone back to his ear and waited for a response.

“No, no spider.”

“Okay. thanks.”

It was probably better that way anyway. Now Remus didn’t have to go track down who owned the spider in his building. Though then again, maybe he should. A spider sounded like a cool pet. Maybe he should get one. A smaller one that stayed in a cage and not creepily on his wall and was now looking at him and he couldn’t seem to look away and now the fear was setting in and-

“Hey Dad, what do you think about me getting a spider?” he asked, desperately tearing his eyes away.

His dad chuckled.

“Good luck finding someone to take care of it when you visit, because it certainly isn’t coming with you.”

“Oh, come on. I could get a small one.”

“Absolutely not. That’s what you said about your lizard and it got to be over a foot long.”

“Hey! Pickle was a great lizard and you loved him.”

His father grumbled but didn’t deny it, so Remus took that as a win.

“So,” his dad began, “Roman, huh?”

“Yeah,” Roman sighed, “yeah. He’s about five years younger than me. My mom was pregnant with him when she first immigrated here. She probably didn’t even know at the time.”

“And, your mom. Does this mean…” his dad trailed off and Remus clenched his teeth at the reminder.

“I- Well I guess I did technically find her,” Remus admitted.

“But?”

“But she died about 30 years ago, just after Roman was born.”

No point in beating around the bush. Remus would have to accept it eventually.

“Oh. Oh _Remus_.”

“I don’t even know why I’m upset,” Remus muttered. A burning feeling grew in his stomach. “I mean- I barely remember her anyways. And I had mostly given up hope on ever finding her anyways.”

“Giving up hope of finding her doesn’t mean you were ready to hear that she had died,” his father spoke gently.

Remus huffed.

“I dunno. I just feel so stupid. Like- I barely knew her. I don’t even remember my own fucking last name. I don’t know why I even _care_.”

“She was your mom, Remus. And she loved you. And you knew she loved you. And you were taken away from her. And now, 30 years later you’re learning that she died. It’s okay to be upset.”

“I don’t wanna be,” Remus whined. He may be a grown adult, but something about talking to his parents brought out the part of him that had always been a scared kid. He sighed. “Okay. Okay. I get your point. I’ll think about it.”

“Good. So I’m assuming that you’ve gotten a chance to talk to Roman?”

“Yeah, I did,” Remus said, and settled in to tell his dad everything.

* * *

Roman was going to tell his husbands everything, but it was probably a topic that would have to wait for a hot minute.

At first, he wanted to get straight into it, but when he arrived home Virgil and Patton were making dinner and Kit was on duty. Virgil almost never had Kit on duty while at home. Roman needed to address the earlier phone call first. He felt the shame in him start to rise again and worked on forgiving himself.

“Hey,” he greeted, not wanting to startle them. Virgil immediately abandoned the meal and raced into his arms.

“Hi,” Virgil said as he clung tightly to him.

“Love, I’m safe,” he reminded.

“Yeah, yeah, I know,” Virgil agreed shakily, “Just waiting for my brain to get the hint.”

Roman smiled and dropped a kiss to his head.

In response, Virgil stood on his tip toes and engaged him in a proper kiss. When they broke apart, Roman kept an arm wrapped around Virgil, not allowing him to get further than an arm lengths away. Virgil didn’t even try to protest, and instead looked quite pleased.

“Patton?” Roman asked.

Patton grinned and and joined the two of them, giving Roman his own kiss. It was soft and sweet and felt like ‘welcome home.’ Roman melted into it. But there was still one person missing.

“Where’s Logan?”

“Office,” Virgil said, “He’s frustrated.”

The shame returned. Roman sighed and worked on chipping away at it, reducing and rationalizing it. Guilt was acceptable here, Roman had forgotten to inform his husbands he’d be so late, but shame was too much and he needed to remember that.

“Not at you,” Patton was quick to add on, “Break in routine was making him uneasy. We kicked him out of the kitchen so he could go take space. But dinner is almost ready, and I know he’ll be happy to see you. Want to go grab him?”

“Yeah, I’ll be right back,” he promised. He gave them another kiss before wandering off to grab Logan.

When he reached the office he knocked gently and pushed the door open. Logan was doing… something with numbers and charts on his computer that Roman couldn’t begin to comprehend. Logan also had his old weighted blanket in his lap, the one he had as a kid. The corner was clenched between two fingers, and they rubbed at the blanket in a comforting stim.

“Hey Lo, I’m back,” Roman greeted as he stepped into the room.

“You’re home,” he said as he tore his gaze away from his work.

“Mhmm,” Roman agreed, “Sorry I broke routine without a warning.”

“I’m not mad at you,” Logan claimed.

It was a fair comment, and probably true, but that didn't mean that Logan wasn’t feeling frustrated and thrown off in general.

“Okay. Uh, Virgil and Patton finished up dinner.”

Logan immediately looked towards the clock and then at Roman. Logan let out a low hum and cast his eyes down to his old weighted blanket, fingers still rubbing it soothingly.

“Y’know, you could always bring your blanket with you to dinner,” Roman offered.

Logan seemed to consider that for a moment before nodding and standing, folded blanket in hand. He joined Roman at his spot near the door.

“Dinner?”

Roman nodded and the two left.

Roman didn’t bring Remus up during dinner. Dinner was family time and not the place for serious discussion. It was a time to catch up and enjoy each other’s presence.

So after they had cleaned up after dinner, Roman asked everyone to sit back down at the table.

“Okay, Patton already knows about some of this,” Roman admitted, “I didn’t mean to tell him before anyone else but we were both up late and it’s taken me a little while to figure out how to broach the rest of this.”

Virgil grabbed his arms, nails digging into elbows. Kit nudged his arms apart and- under Virgil’s command- leapt up to lay half his body across Virgil’s lap, hindlegs still on the floor.

“It’s not bad,” Roman clarified, “It’s- Okay. So I just found out that my mom had another kid. I have an older brother.”

He let the news sink in for a moment before starting to ramble.

“Yeah, so I guess he came with her from Yemen when he was about four and he got taken away from her and then she never told my dad so neither of us knew, nobody but my brother knew and basically his name is Remus and he works with me now.”

The room instantly fell into silence as everyone tried to figure out how to move forward with that new shocking revelation.

It was Virgil who broke the tense atmosphere.

“Hey Pat, Lo, any long forgotten figures from either of your pasts? At this rate, there’s a good chance we know where to find them.”

It was a weak attempt at humor, but it did lighten the room ever so slightly.

“I know right,” Roman groaned, burying his face in his hands, “Seriously, _how_ is this my life?”

“To be clear- you recently found out you have a biological older brother and you found this out because he now works with you?” Logan asked.

“Yup,” Roman agreed.

“Are you _sure_ he’s your brother?”

From anyone else, Roman would of taken that question as an attack, but this was Logan, built on pure curiosity and need for fact.

“I mean, technically no. We’re going to do a DNA test. But everything’s he’s said lines up perfectly, and he looks just like me and my mom. So it’s a _very_ loose technically.”

“Okay, so what does that mean?” Logan then asked.

“I- what?” Roman asked.

“Well, what are you going to do about this information.”

“I think I want to get to know him more?” Roman offered, “I mean, he _is_ my brother, right?”

“It seems to me that that is up to you to decide,” Logan insisted.

Roman paused, and thought about it. This same topic kept coming up. What was he going to do about Remus? What was Remus to him?

When they had left that day, Roman had called Remus his brother. To his face. Remus in return had called Roman his sibling. Roman thought he liked that, wanted that.

“He’s my brother,” Roman decided, “He, yeah. He is.”

“I still can’t believe _I’m_ an only child and not you,” Virgil said, “You’re the true example of an only child mindset.”

“What, how?”

“Attention-seeking, bratty, selfish, impatient-” Logan started to tease with no real heat, mouth quirking up in that way of his.

“Hey! How am I selfish?”

“You didn’t share your breakfast with me this morning.”

“You had your own!”

From then on, the conversation was lost into petty bickering, and there was nowhere Roman would rather be.

Finding out he had an older brother at this point in life wasn’t something that Roman had ever been expecting, and if he had been asked, he would have probably said he never would of wanted it either. But here he was anyway and Roman- Roman wasn’t displeased or disappointed. He was confused and a little lost, but that was life sometimes. They would move forward.

So they did.

He and Remus started to get to know one another. One of their earliest interactions was conducting a DNA test. And a month later, a month into getting to know each other, the test came back.

Positive.

**Author's Note:**

>  **In Depth TW: Schizophrenia** (Remus is schizophrenic and experiences delusions, paranoia, and hallucinations), **RSD** (Roman experiences RSD and unhealthy shames himself), **Memory Issues** (Patton has issues with memory can lose chunks of time. Remus questions the accuracy of his own memory), **PTSD** (Virgil has PTSD and deals with it’s related symptoms), **Xenophobia (past)** (Assumptions and decisions around Remus’s mom’s ability to care for her son are made based on the fact that she is an immigrant from Yemen), **Separation of Child from Parent** (Remus is taken away from his mother), **Parent Death (past, mentioned)** (Roman and Remus’s mother died during childbirth)
> 
> Well there we go. That's Remus and Roman. I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> My tumblr is [thechildoflightning](https://thechildoflightning.tumblr.com/). Feel free to send in asks and prompts, keep updated, and see extra stuff involved with this series.


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